it's been a really hectic couple of weeks.  work kicked my ass when 90% of my clients decided to show up this week.  good for productivity, bad for being on top of my notes and assessments.  luckily, my last 3 appointments canceled or no showed on friday so i had tons of time to finish the week's notes and other paperwork.  on top of that, i always block off the last hour on friday for paperwork.  it's kind of taboo to do since doing paperwork isn't "billable" but i don't care.  if i have 39 hours filled with clients, i feel i am entitled to block off one hour for me to finish my paperwork so i can turn it in before i leave friday.  on top of that, i had to deal with a client who would've offed himself if not for the verbal contract that i made with him to come to this week's session.  i nearly crapped my pants when he said that if not for the verbal agreement and other things, he would not be alive.  i am in need for a vacation!

on top of work related stress, i was stressing about the beginning of june.  i didn't handle it that well last year but this year, i knew it was coming and prepared ahead of time.  i told myself i will allow one day to feel sad but that was it.  turns out, i really didn't need to tell myself that because i had a huge distraction to take care of.  granted it wasn't the most ideal distraction for me at this time of year because it literally consumed every waking moment of my life.  it was not fun getting tested every 2 days but it did the trick in getting my mind off the past.  i wonder if this happened now just to get my mind off things.  if so, i hope august's and next year's distractions aren't as costly or as stressful. 

i am thankful that i have a free weekend to just relax, rest, and start sorting, cleaning, and tossing out stuff i don't need for the move in a few weeks.  it's hard to part with some clothes that i've kept for various reasons, but i had the mindset of it i haven't worn it in the past year, it's getting donated UNLESS it has some major importance to me.

who's not getting excited for the olympics?  i am starting to get olympic fever by making note of what olympic trials to watch this weekend.  what's not to like about it? there's the competition and all the stories of how athletes got to the olympics are always touching.  plus, i think there is something for everyone to enjoy.  if not, you suck.

congrats to edith!  another cali wedding this year to attend to.  i hope the weather isn't too crazy here so i can make it out there in december.  can't wait!

have faith.

i did it again.  i overate at the sushi buffet and now i am feeling a bit uncomfortable.  it was nice to eat dinner with the entire fam and diem's family.  carly and liem were there too.  i just like having family (i consider carly family now) around in general but it's nice when we could gather for holidays.  hope you all wished your dads a happy father's day.

it has been an extremely stressful week for several reasons.  naturally, one has been work especially the day i had to do pull an 11 hour day.  it has been so hectic that i didn't finish all my notes and paperwork like i normally do on fridays.  i'm going to have to go in early tomorrow to finish them and turn them in by the deadline.  i'm just glad the week is over and a new one is starting tomorrow.

got my hair cut on saturday.  well i should say chopped off because that is what it felt like.  about 5-6 inches were cut and it's ok.  i asked for a layered medium length bob and got a blunt cut medium length bob.  upon further inspection there is very minimal layering but not what i had explained to the stylist.  when i saw carly, i was like that was the hair style i was suppose to have.  i'll either go to my friend or scott's friend for my next hair cut whenever that will be.

random rash/hives/allergic reaction is gone.  the doctor is not quite sure what it is but whatever she gave me cleared it up in 4 days.  yay to not looking like a freak!

note to self: get vic an izod shirt for christmas.  loser.

have faith.

i think the reason why i'm getting a small belly is because i don't know when to stop eating.  i totally ignore signals my brain sends me to stop eating once i'm full.  instead i push through those feelings and continue to eat.  i am now paying the price because i am so uncomfortable right now after going to the sushi buffet with my cousin and her family.  it was my "payment" for babysitting the kids last minute.  i remember sitting at the restaurant trying to gag down the last maki roll.  the last roll literally took me 2 minutes to get down.  i could feel my eyes water and it was all i could do from gagging at the table.  emily saw this painful last bite and probably thought "what is wrong with her?"  needless to say next time i go, i will have to eat less because this feeling is so not worth it.

had a pretty pleasant weekend that went by too fast.  friday had dinner with a friend, saturday was the baby shower, and today was a relatively easy baby sitting job and a nice dinner out with the fam.  next weekend, i'll be at home with my fam for father's day and it'll be nice to be with everyone for a few days.  i'm glad scott was able to make it home for father's day.

i officially saw gas prices break the 3.99 mark today.  it's so scary to know that i'll be paying $4 something a gallon and that will be the norm.

i'm not sure what is up with my acne meds but i am noticing my chin is starting to get really funky.  i am getting a lot of small red bumps and it feels like it could be hives or some allegeric reaction to something.  man oh man does it itch which makes me think what i have is hives or an allergeric reaction to something.  thank goodness i have a doctor's appointment on tuesday to have it checked out.  i swear i look like a freak with a chin that has all these red inflamed bumps.  it's not cool to have my face look normal but my chin and forehead flaming red from some sort of irritation.  where's my brown paper bag to put over my head?  i wish vic was around so i can ask him about my face since he recently completed a derm section.

have faith.

wow, what a difference 8 hours make.  i walk to work this morning somewhat chilly despite my layers (i had on a lace tank top, cowl neck short sleeve top, and black cardigan.).  i was wondering when the warm weather was going to come.  i left work and the humidity hit me the second i left the office building.  goodbye winter, hello summer!  tomorrow is suppose to be 90 degrees.  maybe tomorrow i can get by with 2 layers instead of three.

it was kinda creepy walking to my car since some suspicious looking people were around the lot where i park my car.  i booked it inside my car when this car with two guys were driving around the lot and then stopped to just look at me.  i was thinking please, please don't get out of your car.  they just had to park about 30 feet away from where i was parked.  as i was driving home, i thought who would know if something happened to me?  vic's home for the month to study for his boards so i can't rely on him to contact my parents if something came up.  i'll just knock on wood that nothing happens to me.  the one minus to working in a poor urban city.

i wonder what i have because lately i've been going to bed early because i haven't felt well and had several migraines.  it's so weird that i have this dripping feeling at the back of my throat.  it's almost feels like phlegm is slowly dripping down my throat and no matter how many times i try to clear my throat, i can't get rid of that feeling. gross i know.  it's more annoying than anything else.  it must also be annoying for my clients to hear me clear my throat all the time.

i notice the more uncomfortable the shoe i'm wearing that day, the more compliments i get.  go figure.  what a sight i must be towards the end of the day when i'm limping slightly because my feet are killing me.

i have major respect for any administrative assistant who take minutes at meetings.  i had to take minutes today at the clinical meeting and between the combination of a very confusing meeting and fast talking from the supervisors, i could barely keep up.  there were scribbles everywhere and i'm not sure if i got everything down correctly.  i feel bad for the clerical person who has to type out my handwritten minutes.  it was really a difficult task for me to do and thankfully, i don't have to do it again for a year.  i can picture the clinical staff getting a copy of my minutes and think "wtf does that mean or that is incorrect."  since i suck at taking meeting minutes, that's why i am a therapist and not an adminstrative assistant.

have faith.

finally it feels like spring for more than a day.  it's just nice to have may feel like may and to have a string of sunny days.  for awhile, it felt like it winter to fall.  i hope i can put away my winter sweaters away until fall.  i absolutely love that it gets dark around 8:45pm.  true, i don't go out much after work, but it's nice for me to have all that extra sun light. 

i got around to watching true life i have schizophrenia.  it's probably one of the worst mental illnesses a person can have based on the type of symptoms a person may have.  i can't imagine leaving with psychotic symptoms like hearing voices or seeing things all the time.  also, the paranoid thinking would be very stressing to say the least. it's the paranoid thinking that makes most people with schizophrenia refuse to take their medications because they think someone is poisoning them.  the suicide rate is high for this population because some are able to see how difficult their life will be and will often kill themselves.  the show showed a guy that i see most often-does not take medication, has a lot of psychotic symptoms and paranoid thoughts, and is addicted to some substance.  it's very difficult for me to get anywhere with them, but all i can do is try and definitely engrain in them a safety plan so they don't hurt themselves.  the other two people the show followed were able to manage their symptoms through a combination of medication and therapy.  it was encouraging for me to see that some people with schizophrenia can get better with treatment.  i should add if they are compliant with treatment.

had a pleasant weekend out and about enjoying the weather and relaxing.  i found out hammocks rock and definitely would like to have one one day.  thanks buddy for being nice to me the majority of the time.  you can kick my butt later for that comment!

have faith.

if i was narcissistic, i would believe i jinxed the warm weather by commenting on it on a previous entry.  it seemed that since that entry, the next couple of weeks have been unseasonably cool.  i'm still wearing long sleeves and my winter sweaters.  still loads of black and grey.  there was one day this past week, monday i believe, that felt spring like.  seriously, what is up with this cool may weather?

pics are posted from the weekend.  my throat was killing me from yelling to be heard and screaming down the water slides.  the resort was pretty nice overall and it was good seeing my entire fam and extended fam.  i also learned how nancy really feels about fat people at the water park.

yay for getting a much needed gas card!  it should last me about a week and a half.  thank you!

wouldn't it be fabulous if workers could go on a summer break like school kids?  i envy the school kids a lot and it doesn't help that some of my kid clients go on and on about how excited they are.  i think the europeans get a few weeks off for summer vacation.  not quite sure but i know they take a ton more vacation than people do in this country.  i need to move there asap.

it's funny to me that this short work week feels longer.  go figure.  maybe it's because i made it even shorter by taking a vacation day tomorrow and i'm just excited to get the work week done and over with so i can have another 3 day weekend.  yes, i am that lazy.

have faith.

I received a statement in the mail stating the lab work I had done 3 weeks ago cost $550.75.  I had to reread it several times to make sure it was $550 and not $50.75.  All the hospitals took from me was 2 small vials of blood for very standard tests.  If anyone could explain to me why the hospital would charge so much, please pass that info along to me.  From what I know and believe, lab people throw my blood in a centrifuge to look for certain things.  Enlighten me here, Nancy, since you do this type of work.  Someone explain to me why it cost so much.  Luckily I have a somewhat decent insurance and have to pay 25% of it.  I'm not happy paying the 25% but it's better than the whole amount.

It's no wonder people can't afford health insurance or decide not to get certain treatments.  It's just way too expensive.

On a much brighter note, congrats to Mary for finishing law school and Steve for graduating!

Pics are up from Emily's first Communion and I have a pretty amusing video of my mom playing the Wii.  Who would've thought she would want one now?

Have faith.

I nearly lost it when I saw gas was $3.95.  It's gotten to the point where I am really concerned about how big of a blow this will be to my monthly budget.  I've scaled back on the shopping so I can balance the increased amount I am spending on gas.  True, I can cut some more corners by not paying as much on my student loans, not eating out as much, and not saving as much in my savings account.  I am so worried about gas prices that I have been dragging my feet about moving to a really beautiful apartment complex because that would add 10 more minutes to my commute to the Alliance office (it's already 45 minutes).  On top of that, the apartment has gas heating and I am not dreading the bill when winter rolls around.  I definitely need to make more money so I can be more comfortable and not stress so much on bills and other expenses.  I can remember 10 years ago when gas was less than a dollar.  What I would give for those days to come back.

In addition to gas prices sky rocketing, stamps have gone up.  Not a huge thing since I don't mail a lot of things, but it's annoying.  Then I see in the grocery stores, the price of corn went up.  Correct me if I'm wrong since I do not follow the news closely, but aren't companies buying a lot of corn to make ethanol to add to gas?  What ever the case, the price has gone up to where I'm paying almost 50 cents an ear.  Before I balked at paying 33 cents an ear and there I was last week forking money over for pricey corn.  What can I say, I really really like corn.

I am in desperate need to get a hair cut.  I was hoping to go home to participate in my friend's charity event this week, but it doesn't look like it'll work out that way.  I'm ready for a change.  Now I'll have to see if I will follow through.

I am so close to getting the first part to my drug and alcohol license.  I should be getting it by the end of the summer.  I've been busting my behind taking a lot of courses this spring session to make sure I get the license this year.  As much of a pain as doing those courses are, I have to keep reminding myself all this junk will pay off down the road.  I was browsing the job market and found a job in Columbus that required that drug and alcohol license that paid nearly double what I'm making now.  As a co-worker told me, I have to pay my dues now with a high burn out and stressful job before I can ease my way in private practice or hospital that would pay considerably more.  One day I'll get there.

have faith.

as much as i would've like to take part in the papa john 23 cent pizza deal today, there was no way i was going to go through the lengths others did to get it.  vic tried calling numerous times at one papa john's to try to place an order and he could not get through.  it would've been cool to say we were able to buy a large pizza for 23 cents.  he picked up some church's chicken and that is by far a better meal than papa john's pizza.  i really don't care for papa john's pizza but just wanted to take part in the day.  vic showed me a pic of this long line outside a papa john's and it was ridiculous. 

i had imagined it would be busy and that if i really wanted to, i could go to one and wait 30 mins to get my one topping pizza.  that would not have been the case.  i checked the local new stations for stories, videos, and pics and was amazed at the videos and pics. check out wkyc or wews for pics and videos.  i could not believe people waited over 3 hours for a pizza.  now come on people, is it that good?  not really.  i know my time is worth more than a large pizza.  it was just crazy to see how papa john's disrupted surrounding businesses because the lines were out of control and caused quite a few traffic jams.

i just feel for all the papa john workers in ohio today.  like vic said, i hope they get extra pay today.  maybe a free large pizza with two toppings to take home after a long day. 

leave it to ohio weather to be so fickle.  yesterday was absolutely beautiful and today was dreary and cold.  i wouldn't have guessed i would be wearing a long sleeve turtleneck in may.

yay to another day of super nice clients!

have faith.

let me tell you how nice it is to work half days.  i would love to go to work if i knew it was only for four hours and with nice clients.  i had a doctor's appointment this morning and took the morning off because i wasn't sure how long it would take at the doctor's and to get the lab work done.  it was fabulous to sleep in and not rush around in the morning.  when i got to work, it flew by since i was there for 4.5 hours.  the icing of the cake was i worked with my really nice clients.  what a fabulous day.

i so appreciate my nice clients that much more after dealing with a creep and some really mean clients.  thankfully, the creep has left me alone but i still get antsy walking to and from my car since my work decided not to pay for the parking garage.  i know this is mean, but i sometimes hope he would get arrested soon so i can have some peace of mind.  i suppose that creep and my mean client yesterday makes me grateful for the wonderful clients that i have gotten to know and build a good therapeutic relationship.  i have to remind myself that i have to pay my dues now before i move on private practice.

thanks to those who listened and offered their support and advice on what to do.  i appreciate it.

i nearly lost my mind when i saw gas was $3.79.  i remember flipping out at $3.49 a few months ago.  other than my student loans, gas will now be my biggest expense each month.  thankfully, i have a job that pays enough so far but if gas continues to go up, i'm going to have to rethink my spending to allot enough money for my long commute to work.  here i am making more than minimum wage, worrying about paying for gas to get to work when there are people on minimum wage trying to make ends meet.  is it even worth going to work making $7 an hour when gas is that expensive?  i really don't know what i would do if i was in that situation and thankfully i'm not.  i swear everything has gone up in price and have definitely cut down on my spending on random things compared to last year this time.  here's hoping the economy and/or my pay gets better.

my mom's been so annoying about asking me about what i think about john's friend.  she's convinced that john was trying to set jason and me up.  so not the case.  john invited a few of us down to hang out after his big test.  i get so frustrated when she asks about it.  i think she's worried that i won't find a guy to marry and heaven forbid won't have grandchildren to spoil.  in due time mom.  i'm just following cousin dien's and nga's footsteps by marrying late that's all!

finally it feels like spring.  love it!

have faith.