it's nice to know that nancy still cares about me despite the hell i gave her when we were little.  (in my defense, i got in trouble for not playing with her so that turned me off from her a lot.  now that i want to hang out and talk to her, she's too busy for me.  karma's great!)  anyway, she and i caught up a little today and she was concerned about my new acne treatment because it does have some severe side effects such as depression and some suicidal thoughts.  she said i must call her to make sure i'm ok once i start taking it to make sure i didn't off myself or something like that.  if that wasn't enough, she hooked me off with some skin care treatment to try since my current treatment does not work.  if that's not cousin love, i don't know what is.

have faith.

it's weird how there are a million things/topics i want to blog about recently and for whatever reason, i end up not updating as i should for my faithful few.  i notice i tend to blog more when i have really nothing of major importance.  i'll work on blogging more frequently because i hate not documenting thoughts or events for me to look back 4 years from now and think what a dumb ass i was at the time.

i finally got sick.  real sick.  i have to thank my lovely brother for infecting me with his crazy cold.  the cold knocked me out and i for the first time ever called off work on thursday.  some of my clients were so thoughtful that it reminded that work doesn't suck all the time.  when some of my afternoon clients found out i was feeling ill when they called in to check their appointment times, they canceled their appointments so i could rest that hour.  bless their hearts because on that wednesday, i was slowly falling apart towards the end of the afternoon.  i think i went to bed every single night at 9:30pm and don't remember the last time i went to bed that early.  i must note vic also got everyone in my family except for scott sick.

went to my derm appointment with the new doctor this tuesday and i am finally getting the treatment i want.  yes, vinh, i will get to know ipledge real well the next 5 months starting in may.  i am not looking forward to some of the side effects, monthly blood work or pregnancy tests, but i'm at the point where i will do just about anything to clear up my skin.  i have a better feeling about this doctor since she seems to really listen to my concerns and actually looked at my skin.  can't wait to start looking more like my old self again.

speaking of skin treatments, i got a package from jessica on thursday.  on the box it said liquid so i guessed it might be something liquidy from texas since she was just there for a visit.  i opened it up and in it was a ton of acne skin care products from aveda.  i talked to her about how bad my skin has gotten and how self-conscious i've become because of my acne.  she really listened to my pressing problem, took me seriously instead of saying something like it's acne, get over it, and hooked me up with products.  i teared up looking at each product because it was such a thoughtful thing for her to do.  hopefully, the products will help lessen the acne i have since i won't be able to start my other treatment till may.  speaking of good friends, mary sent me a useful link about skin care.  i am really fortunate to have the friends that i have.

i had a friend come visit me for a few days.  i had some anxiety and mixed feelings about it because of how some people feel about him and because i haven't spent more than 2 days with him before this visit.  turned out the visit went really well and i had a really fun time with him.  there wasn't a ton of things to do in the area, but we managed to keep busy and have fun doing random things.  i was surprised i wasn't annoyed or irritated with him after 2 days but found myself really enjoying his company.  i don't know what will come of this visit and all i can do really is wait and see.  it was just a nice change of pace for me recently with work and everything else that is going on to hang out with someone that can take my mind off things for a bit.  not quite sure when i'll see him next but i'll be anxious to see how that goes.

that's about it for now.  i must also note i am number 1 in two bracket groups that i am participating in this year.  it feels so good to be the top spot.  i just need unc to win to guarantee that i'll finish first in my two groups.

have faith.

i chose not to wear green today because i didn't not feel like partaking in the office festivities of wearing green and paying $3 to wear jeans.  just wasn't in the festive mood when i woke up this morning.  i've been lax with updates so i thought i just summarize what has happened.

-work has been brutal.  i got reamed by two parents for not doing a good job changing their kids.  well, changes can't happen if the environment isn't conducive to positive change.  got reamed by the doctor for referring him a client who is on benzos.  he basically did not want any client referrals who refused therapy and is on benzos.  i asked if i should tell clients that they weren't going to get any meds if they were already prescribed that and the doctor said yes.  i was not comfortable with telling clients they weren't going to get certain meds because one i'm not a doctor.  i told my sup who told her sup who talked to doctor's sup.  i can't wait till i see that doctor again!  then on friday, i found out i was snowed by a client and she has been telling me a bunch of lies since i started seeing her in january.  i could not wait for the weekend.

-speaking of work, it's been one year at my job and boy does it seem like i've been there forever.

-a blizzard hit ohio march 7-8th.  pics of the snow are posted on my other site.  it was one of the most stressful drives home i ever had. it took me an hour and a half to drive home when it normally takes me 45 minutes.  the roads were so sloppy and slick.  going to church on saturday was a real treat.  vic's car kept sliding and we had so much trouble finding parking since snow was everywhere and we couldn't make it uphill to the church parking lot.

-i was given Buddha by a client since i'm asian and did not have one displayed in my office.  the statue was gross because it had yellow junk all over it but it's the thought that counts, right?

-there are nice, honest people in this crazy world.  i was so flustered after being yelled at by two parents last week that i forgot my wallet on top of the tomatoes.  you may be thinking why don't i carry a purse so i don't lose my wallet.  well, i throw my wallet in my work bag and when i stop by the grocery stores after work, i don't like to carry my work bag in since it's so big and heavy.  i was just so stressed and flustered that i totally forgot my wallet as i went to get a plastic bag to put my tomato in.  i was in line and patted my coat to find my wallet to pay for my groceries.  i had a real sick feeling when i couldn't feel my wallet and did not find it in my basket.  i ran back to the tomato bin and did not find it there.  i went to customer service to ask if a wallet was turned it and learned that no wallet was found.  i started to put away all my groceries trying to think of all the things i would need to replace and card companies to call to freeze my account when i heard over the intercom "the customer who reported a missing wallet please go to aisle 6".  i ran over to aisle 6 and grabbed my wallet.  i opened it up and checked it to see if anything was taken.  everything was still there thankfully.  if i saw the person who found my wallet, i would've tackled that person in a bear hug for being such an honest person.

-went to columbus for the day to hang out with jessica before she moved.  i'll miss her so much.  it was good to see ken since it's been over a year.  he took me to a cool tea place which will be our place to hang out when i'm in town.  john and deanna made me feel so welcome in their home and i slept on the most comfy pillow at their house. 

happy birthday, nick!

so that sums up what has been happening in my life.

have faith.

i think ohio is the only place where you can have 60 degree spring like weather on monday and the next day, have flurries and a wintry mix combo.  it was so weird having such warm weather after a brutally cold winter only to wake up to my car completely iced.  i wasn't sure if i was going to go to work because it was so slippery on the sidewalk and the driveway.  unfortunately the roads weren't that bad and i made it to work.  when i left work, it was really cool to see all the trees covered with ice and to see icicles hanging from the branches.  reminded me that it's still winter despite the balmy weather yesterday.  hopefully, the roads won't suck tomorrow morning since it is forecasted to have freezing rain, ice, and sleet tonight.

had to touch base with the crisis center yesterday because one of my clients checked herself in there.  i am surprised that the staff still remembers me since it's been over a year since i last interned there.  when i finally got ahold of my supervisor, she told me she overheard the staff talking about me.  i thought "uh oh" but she went on to say that mark, one of the supervisors, said that out of all the interns she had, i was his favorite and the other staff members agreed.  i'm kinda surprised since i did random stupid pranks on him all the time.  it was a nice feeling when getting transferred to make small talk with various staff.  it's just a good feeling knowing that i'm remembered positively.

my next derm appointment can't come soon enough.  i am so frustrated that my face has broken out so bad.  i just want to quit everything that i am on but know i have to continue to be compliant so the next doctor can see firsthand that my current treatment sucks.  this is really affecting my confidence and self-esteem.  to think i thought have one pimple every couple of months was horrible, but now having zits all over my forehead, temples, and chin is utterly devastating.  i was talking to mary the other day and she sympathized that i wasn't being superficial complaining about my face.  it has started my quality of life.  i suppose if acne is the worst thing in my life, then my life isn't that bad.  i just wish i could go back to my old face prior to this stupid treatment.  i have never been so compliant to treatment, espeically taking two types of pills a day.  that's how bad i want clear skin.  hopefully, the new doctor will give me something that works.

till next time.

have faith.

i don't know what bug hit my work, but i am trying so hard to avoid it.  work has been a ghost town with so many people calling off sick.  i really don't want to catch whatever is going around but it would not surprise me if i did end up getting sick.  it's bound to happen since my clients come in sick coughing and spreading their germs.  i appreciate the effort for them to come in despite not feeling well because they're committed to treatment, but i end up ending session early because they're coughing nonstop or telling them that if they're feeling that sick, to call to reschedule.  therapy with me is not that important when it comes to a person's health.  thank goodness i wash my hands a million times a day and go through a lot of sanitizers.  my throat's been a little sore since thursday but i'm hoping it's just dehydration.  along with the sore throat, i felt very fatigued and had two migraines in a row.  caught up on my sleep and made sure i rested a lot this weekend to try to prevent any type of sickness.  knock on some wood that i don't get sick any time soon.

where did february go?  march is here and i can't wait til spring officially comes.  i am so much happier waking up to the sunrise and driving home with it being light out.  love, love spring weather.

i was watching true life's i work in the sex industry yesterday.  there was this straight guy who does gay porn for a living.  i thought it would be gay pornagraphic pics since he stated he was straight.  oh i was wrong.  the show had a clip where the guy was making out with another guy for a scene.  my jaw dropped because i had a hard time believing a straight guy would have no problems making out with a guy.  later, it showed him wrapped in a towel saying he just got done having sex with the guy.  the guy said he only works 8 days a month and the money is very good, something like 7k for a gay scene/pic.  the guy says he is straight and that he is very comfortable with his sexuality to do something like this.  i had some doubts because at a porn convention, he was affectionate to other males.  maybe it was an act, i don't know.  at the end, he talks to his sister who came around to his way of living and said everyone has their price.  i know there is no amount of money someone could offer me to have sleep with another female.  i don't have a problem with homosexuality, it's just not for me.  i thought of my guy friends and don't think there is one that would kiss another guy on the mouth let alone have sex with him for any amount of money.  i just thought it was really interesting to see a straight guy having sex with guys for a living.  did not think a guy could be that comfortable with his sexuality to do something like that for a living.

using the crock pot tonight.  hope the beef dish turns out ok.  i'll def not make this often because it uses a good amount of butter.  i should use the crock pot more often, i love throwing things in the pot, turning it on, and leaving.  talk about worry free cooking.

have faith.

i was SO looking forward to my trip to nyc this weekend.  i started to make plans to visit friends thursday and friday morning.  thinking of this trip got me through the stressful work week.  so i'm contacting friends friday morning and making plans to meet for lunch and dinner when i get a call from an 800 number.  it was airtran letting me know my flight was cancelled.  i was so bummed.  they said they'll credit my account the amount i paid for the ticket.  in a way that's really stupid because i got the airfare at a deal so if i were to reschedule my trip in the future, i would have to pay more.  i'll prob rant and rave to get the new flight at the price i paid for the cancelled flight.  stupid snow.  it was pretty lame to call back friends after making plans that morning an hour later to cancel plans.  i'm going to shoot for either april or may to make my visit.

went home with vic since my bags were already packed.  i can honestly say i did not do anything the entire weekend.  well, friday i was just moping around because my flight was cancelled.  saturday i just bummed around the entire day.  mom was happy that we went home.  got the usual talk about how my face is bad and how i should call so and so to see what she did to clear her face.  also got the usual concerned talk from mom about my lack of a love life.  she started asking questions about this guy i met a handful of times through my cousin.  he's a nice guy but he's so quiet.  i need someone to banter with me and on rare occasions, put me in my place.  who knows what will happen since i won't stay in the area for more than 2 years.

group on thursday was ok.  it was really awkward to see an old classmate in it.  she was pretty rude by laughing and talking throughout the group session.  it went ok, i managed to drag it out 15 more minutes than the first group i did.  noticed that when i stumbled on a phrase, it went downhill from there until i can find a way to regroup.  it was pretty awesome to feel my face get flushed for the majority of group.  i can relax until my next one in april.

congrats to mary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  so, so happy for you!

off to bum around what remains of the weekend. 

have faith.

since i was reminded tonight i haven't updated, i'll do a quick one now.  i've been busy with work.  it's been driving me nuts, especially today.  i refuse to be bullied into writing a letter stating a client has no drug or alcohol problems when they do have an issue with it.  also, don't pressure me into sending it to you before your court date on monday when you had a whole year to get a drug and alcohol assessment done.  entitled acting people irritate me.

i can see why the burn out rate for my job is so high.  i just feel so bogged down by it this week and it's a short week for me since i'm taking friday off.

went to columbus and spent time with good friends.  thanks to jessica, john, and deanna for being so welcoming.  went to see anson on sunday.  it's been almost a year since i last visited the cemetary since i don't go to columbus as often.  i was surprised how emotional i felt when i was there.  i just felt my heart ache and didn't want to cry since vic was in the car waiting.  i suppose it does get easier as time go by.  i'm thinking the emotions just came back because this is the time when he and i were talking a lot and starting to do some things together.  maybe it was because i was thinking of missy and how hard this week will be for her.  i just miss him.  i also miss my aunt.

i'm dreading with a passion doing the divorce group tomorrow.  i hate, hate doing groups.  i know i'll get flustered and be beet red for the two hours.  i don't do anything elaborate since i essentially read from a divorce work book.  argh! 

as soon as i could get through group, it'll be smooth sailing and then i'll be off to relax for a long weekend.

back to stressing and prepping.

have faith.

for a long time now, i was able to successfully abstain from whatever i was giving up for lent.  giving up chocolate was hard.  i remember giving up clothes shopping very difficult because one year i was in nyc.  this year, i gave up all snacks.  that means i can only eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  some may think it's not a big deal, but i snack a lot.  i snack while watching tv, reading mags, and every other hour at work.  i was challenged to give up fried foods by amit and shuk and well, that was near impossible for me.  so i opted for the snack challenge.  i was doing so well until sunday.  there i was hanging out with emily and she brought out these red and white rice krispie treats.  my eyes lit up and i asked if i could have a small piece.  i tore off a small bite and ate it happily. 

as i was unpacking from my weekend at diem's, i did a mental run down of my day to make sure i didn't eat outside my three meals.  my jaw dropped a little when i remembered the stupid rice krispie treat bite.  the dyed rice krispies suckered me in on the 5th day of lent.  i'm a little disappointed in myself that i was not more careful.  so far, i never realized how much i snacked until i started lent.  it's really mindless eating at work or at home.  i don't think twice about popping pieces of chocolate in between sessions or crunching away on chips and dip at home.  hopefully, i will not screw up the next 35 days of lent.

wish i was in school again.  those lucky bastards got today off because of the extremely low wind chills.  i wonder if they'll get tomorrow off.  i'm so not looking forward to tomorrow night's commute.  supposedly the area i live will be dumped with a ton of snow in the afternoon and night.  fun stuff.  hopefully, i won't slide into a ditch in front of some random farm.

have faith.

i abhor rude, disrespectful, and inconsiderate people like no other.  sometimes, like last week, i have the urge to punch them in their face. 

whatever.  stupid people.  too bad i can't ship them to the moon.

thank you jessica for the validation.

so what if i can't give up fried foods.  i'm giving up something a little easier than that but still tough for me.

happy ash wednesday to you fellow catholics.  hope you all went to church today.  happy new year to you asians out there.  chuc mung nam moi!

have faith.

so the superbowl will start soon and i have no desire to watch.  i stopped caring about the superbowl for awhile now.  i can't even sit through it to watch the commercials.  i doubt it will be a good game anyway.  my prediction is new england will destory the giants since they destroyed the giants during the regular season.  i wish the giants could win since i don't like tom brady and the cheating patriots.

i'm so not looking forward to work tomorrow.  after taking thursday and friday off to head to boston, i have no desire to wake up early for work.  started off my extended weekend with a trip to the dentist and no cavities for me!  i really like the dental hygentist that works on my teeth.  she's really cool and we just talk and talk about random things. 

started off my boston trip with dinner at legal sea foods.  i had to try the famous clam chowder and it was really good.  now that i think of it, kathy and i walked around and ate a lot the entire weekend.  thanks to missy for her suggestions on where to go.  kathy and i knocked down half of missy's list.  it was neat to walk around boston and shop on newbury street.  i never thought i would walk around harvard but i did which was exciting for me.  saw lots of neat things like M.I.T., samuel adams brewery where i actually tasted several beers, various markets, and china town.  my favorite restaurant has to be this hot pot place where everyone gets their own individual hot pot.  i got the kim chi broth and it was so yummy.

boston reminds me of a cozier nyc and i loved everything about the city.  i have to go back to check out the night life because i wasn't able to go out due to the feezing rain and wind at night.  it was fine since it gave kathy and me lots of time to have bond over various conversation topics.  plus she introduced me to my newest crush who i swear is one of the most handsome man i've ever seen.



i so don't want to go to work tomorrow...  i know i need to to fund my next trip in a few weeks! 

have faith.