last night's grad party had way too much good food.  it was nice seeing family that i never see and catching up with everyone.  it's just crazy to see jenny graduate from high school and start college this fall.  i can remember when she came home as a newborn!  she's definitely grown into a beautiful young woman.

i don't know what happened but my one uncle and aunt kept telling me how good i look and to keep it up.  as vic and i were driving back to the apartment last night, my mom called me to tell me how the other adults commented how pretty i've become.  uhhh was i that bad looking before?  i personally don't think i changed much in terms of appearance.  the only thing that has changed is that i put on a little weight since they all last saw me but the face is the same and i didn't do any make up (although i wish i had since all the other girls were made up).  to me, i think the other girl cousins are way prettier than me at dinner last night.

it was a nice compliment to get but it just made me really curious as to what parts of my physical appearance changed to the point where people were coming up to my mom to tell her how pretty i am now.  like i said before, i don't think i changed one bit other than the weight gain.  oh yeah, i'm acne free.  yay!

it's just weird for me to get compliments because it just feels that i am being looked over and judged by everyone on my physical appearance.  it feels like a catch 22 to me.  it's nice to be noticed by my physical appearance but at the same time, if anything changes for the worse, then everyone's like "oh no what happend? you were so cute before". 

i sometimes feel that in my family there's too much emphasis on appearances.  it could definitely give me a complex.

time to finish up some work before heading over to my cousin's for another coma inducing dinner.

have faith.