chuc mung nam moi, happy new year!  i should've taken the day off and bummed or catch up on sleep.  i've been so obsessed with spreadsheets than i have the past few days.  thank goodness i'm with a nerd who can help me with my various spread sheets.

i wonder if the year of the dragon will be a good year for me.

i would say this would be a good time to redo any resolutions i broke but luckily for me, i didn't make any resolutions.

have faith.

i was talking to one of my co-workers about my style and the clothes i like.  she told me that when she saw me she thought i had a very classic look that prob went with a serious personality.  she said that once she got to know me she found that how i dress doesn't totally define my personality.  she said that she would've never guessed that i had such a quirky personality.

i say the quirk is all part of the charm!

have faith.

i have been super exhausted the past few days from lack of quality sleep.  it was weird that i woke up at 2am and 3am throwing up.  needless to say i was an utter train wreck at work.  luckily i had a relatively slow day.  i'm not sure what caused my sickness since all i ate yesterday for dinner was a simple grilled cheese sandwich.  i know there's some weird bug going around.  on top of that, i had a migraine this afternoon.  i just want to rest and sleep all day and night.

talking to friends and family this week reminded me of how truly blessed i am that i have such an amazing support system.  all the offers to help just warms my heart.  i truly need the help since my emotions have been all over the place the past few weeks.  all i want to do is just enjoy this time in my life because i'll never have it again.

have faith.

maybe i should've known today would be stinky since it was friday the 13th.  we had the first real snow storm of the season and it really wasn't that bad snow wise.  the streets were really slushy.  it's always the first real snow fall that makes people forget how to drive.  i was stuck in traffic for over an hour trying to get out of akron when it normally takes me 15-20 minutes.  needless to say i was half an hour late to work and was not pleased to start my day late and stuck in my car for 1.5 hours.

i'm excited about sunday to spend with my parents and one of my best friends.  it's a once in a lifetime moment that i will get to share with some of the most important people in my life.

have faith.

i must've had a combination of panic attacks and nervous break downs this afternoon with my parents.  we just didn't see eye to eye on many things and that has become frustrating.  i acted out like a child, well more like a teen with my attitude.  i knew at the time that i was being a brat but i was so upset.

the thing with me now is that i reflect a lot.  too much at times.  i thought about where my parents were coming from and why they were acting the way they were.  i had to realize that i have to let them in on these moments because i'm essentially their one chance to do these things.  i realized i have to let go of some control and really compromise and work with them.

so i called them back a few moments ago and after some beating around the bush, i said i was sorry for my piss poor attitude.  now i feel loads better that we all seem to be on the same page.

i am totally rocking out to outasight's tonight is the night.  i think i listened to it 15 times today.

have faith.

this morning should've been an omen on how my day would be.  i pumped gas before work and noticed that there was a gas smell as i was driving to work.  i thought maybe something was wrong with my car.  when i got to work and talked to my co-worker about our new year's, she asked me if i smelled gas.  that's when i realized it must be me.  i went to my office and sniffed my clothes and found that the bottom of my pants reeked of gas.  i also then noticed that my office reeked of gasoline.  i was like f! this is not good because i had a bunch of new clients that day and didn't want to give a bad impression.  also, i didn't want to reek of gas all day.

i was able to obtain a bunch of body sprays and room sprays and liberally sprayed my pants and my office with these sprays.  it still didn't help.  then another co worker offered to give me her tart warmer and it definitely did the trick of masking the gasoline smell pretty well.

i think i'm at the point where i feel like i'm over all of this.  i know in the end things will be worked out but i didn't expect to have so many clashes already.  i just need to take a step back and just breathe for a second.  or two.  or three.

this is one of my fave pics from last month and has to be one of the neatest things i've done.  it was really cool to have 3 different types of birds eat out of my hand.  i want to do this again except in warmer weather.


have faith.

happy new year!  i'm so thankful that i don't have to work today.  instead, i took it easy by cleaning the apartment and going over to my cousin's house to make cookies and spend time with the kiddies.  it's fun to get them all sugared up for their parents then oh so conveniently leave.  i spent the last few moments of 2011 in my pjs itching to take a shower so i could go to bed.  i was determined to stay up until midnight since previous years i would fall asleep and someone had to wake me up.  what can i say?  i'm old.

this year has definitely been a roller coaster of emotions and i think i had a lot more ups and downs than previous years.  i was reminded to focus on the good that has happened this year and not so much on the bad.  it's human nature to focus on the bad, i know this because i talk about it all the time with my clients.  i have to say the last few months of 2011 improved greatly for me because of some of these things: a relationship that is slowly mending, one of my favorite people in the world is now a short drive away, my trip to vietnam, seeing a lot of my cousins (steve was in ohio 3 times this year!), nancy's engagement party, and someone surprising me with 40 ring pops on 12/29.

to make sure 2011 went out with a bang, there was a small earthquake on new year's eve in the afternoon.  it was crazy to feel the futon shake and see the tv move.  second earthquake that i experienced in 2011.

2012 will be one interesting year but will definitely be better than 2011.

i'm doing my best to avoid any sports page because i really don't want to find out the score from the osu game.  i hope that they win to end the season on the winning side.  time to watch the game i taped and other football games tonight.

wishing you faithful readers a happy, healthy 2012!

have faith.

i hope everyone had a great christmas with family and friends.  it was a hectic time since i spent most of the time cooking for the christmas meal.  it was a great time to just hang out with the fam and spend time with diem and her family and co son's family.  we ate too much, laughed too much, and watched a lot of random things.

it was nice to stay put and actually have christmas at home since it's been awhile since we had a tree and presents under the tree.  the last few years we have been out of town visiting various families and seeing grandparents.

it was just nice to sit around and open presents.  i actually made out like a bandit this year and got a lot of cool stuff from my bros.  i don't think i've gotten this much stuff before!  it seems like my parents actually like their gifts as well which is shocking since they usually make us return their gifts.  it was amusing to see how christmas was pretty much ruined since my mom ruined scott's gift to vic and my dad totally screwed up the kids' gift to them by buying his own blu ray player after telling me he didn't want one.

and i supposedly poisoned vic.  i guess that's what he gets for what he did to me!

i hope this week goes by fast.  i so don't want to work this week.  i don't think i ever not had at least one week off for christmas to do nothing!  lame!

have faith.

man it has been a terrible week.  first steve leaves on wednesday which really bummed me out since i really enjoyed having him around.  monday was uber terrible in that my first appointment of the day was a guy that was kicked out of the agency for jacking off in the waiting room.  i was appalled that we would take him back after reading his old chart.  i rarely refuse to do things but in this case, i went to the vp of my department and showed her the note that stated she, a supervisor, and the therapist discussed the client and agreed to kick him out. 

i told her i was not comfortable seeing the client and was met with some resistance on her end.  she told me the incident happened 4 years ago.  i still said i wasn't going to see him.  she said she would handle it and ended up telling the guy i was sick.  the more she thought about it the more mad she got that i cost the agency money for refusing to see the guy.  she ended up calling the guy back and made my friend see him.  i felt terrible that she had to see him.

so now i'm on the vp shit list.  awesome.

i just don't think it's right that i should see him since i wasn't comfortable and wasn't going to compromise my safety and well being for my work.  two, this guy has numerous recent indecency charges so that tells me that he hasn't learned his lesson.  two, there are plenty of women and children who come to the agency and work is willing to put their safety at risk for a hundred bucks?  really?

then the bitch receptionist was uber rude to me to the point i wanted to smack her.  it was so bad other therapists commented on how she rude she was in paging me when clients came.

it's no wonder i had an epic migraine that lasted two days.

i'm glad this week is over and that i can go home to be with family.

merry christmas and i hope everyone can spend it with loved ones.

have faith.

i am so bummed that steve didn't miss his flight like i told him to.  i had so much fun with him and wished he could leave closer to me so we can have fun all the time.  we ended his visit with super buttery grilled cheese and fried egg sandwiches.  man those sandwiches were so good but it hit me like a ton of bricks.  i hope we can squeeze another visit next year before nancy's wedding or maybe i'll round up the troops to visit the va. cousins.

work was kind of slow which is no surprise since who wants to come in for therapy when the holidays are around the corner?  i was helping my friend play words with friends and some hang man game on her iphone.  it was a fun way to pass the hour and made me wish i had a smart phone for that one hour.  we'll see what i'll do when my phone really dies.

congrats to me for making it to the finals for fantasy football!!!

i can't wait for this week to be over!

have faith.